Finally Action

Well today I finally took the action I have been alluding to for months. I wish I could say that a moment within myself, some lightening bolt to my soul drove me to finally stepping into a new life but it was far less enlightening and more down and dirty painful. My graduation weekend was a lovely time for me and my family but there was the constant shadow of my weight hanging over every joyous moment. This was manifested by the fact that I had so much pain in my feet that at some points I could barely walk. I knew my family was worrying about me and hiding it.

Then today I came home to a loving but deeply painful-to-read letter from my godmother. She basically told me that she loved me and begged me to do something about my weight (she also begged me not to be angry with her for butting in). I stood in my kitchen reading and my reaction was instantaneous. I grabbed my purse, keys, and courage and headed directly to Jenny Craig. I had been thinking about joining such a program and had done some research but, as with most things in my life, I hadn't followed through with any action. (see a theme here?) But today was different I finally saw that my weight was over-taking my whole life. Even my relationships with my loved ones have issues of weight constantly woven into them.

So I am taking control by giving up control. I keep making the same choices over and over (definition of insanity anyone?) so I needed to take the choice out of it. Only this way can I start to relearn how to approach food. Learn what a portion is, how I should feel after eating, and most of all learn how I really am.

I start tomorrow. Prayers are welcome.