Finally Action

Well today I finally took the action I have been alluding to for months. I wish I could say that a moment within myself, some lightening bolt to my soul drove me to finally stepping into a new life but it was far less enlightening and more down and dirty painful. My graduation weekend was a lovely time for me and my family but there was the constant shadow of my weight hanging over every joyous moment. This was manifested by the fact that I had so much pain in my feet that at some points I could barely walk. I knew my family was worrying about me and hiding it.

Then today I came home to a loving but deeply painful-to-read letter from my godmother. She basically told me that she loved me and begged me to do something about my weight (she also begged me not to be angry with her for butting in). I stood in my kitchen reading and my reaction was instantaneous. I grabbed my purse, keys, and courage and headed directly to Jenny Craig. I had been thinking about joining such a program and had done some research but, as with most things in my life, I hadn't followed through with any action. (see a theme here?) But today was different I finally saw that my weight was over-taking my whole life. Even my relationships with my loved ones have issues of weight constantly woven into them.

So I am taking control by giving up control. I keep making the same choices over and over (definition of insanity anyone?) so I needed to take the choice out of it. Only this way can I start to relearn how to approach food. Learn what a portion is, how I should feel after eating, and most of all learn how I really am.

I start tomorrow. Prayers are welcome.

Long Time no Chat

Well it's been almost two months exactly since I last sat down to lay the truth of myself out before the world. It has been a very busy two months- emphasis on the "very". I finished, and graduated, from law school, started classes to study for the bar exam, and I moved to a new apartment. Now while finishing law school is a heavenly thing and can only be good for my mental health it is the new apartment that is most relevant to the content of this blog. My new apartment is on the 5th floor of a walk up building at the bottom of a very big hill (or at least it seems like a very big hill). And this, I am not proud to admit, is the greatest change towards good health that I have truly made since I so boldly made promises 60 days ago. I tried to make other changes. I purchased a bike, which I have ridden, but in the 2 weeks since I moved I have not done anything other than move to and from my apartment, which seems to be more than enough to wear me out.

But I do not consider myself beaten. I can see the difference in my lung capacity even in 2 short weeks in this apartment. And, while the very last step before reaching the 4th floor is still the point where my legs start to shake and I have to shuffle around to the last set of stairs, I do it 2- sometimes even 3 or more- times a day. One flight of stairs used to be major trauma for me. Now I can say without shame that 4 flights of stairs is minor trauma for me. Still my body is taking a battering. I can't seem to stretch enough to get the muscles in my legs loose and I have over stretched the ligament in my left foot, making any kind of moving around painful and taxing. But, aside from the terrace and 2 floor spaciousness, this was a major part of the draw of this place for me. I have no choice but to get this exercise, no choice but to move my body, and wasn't that what I said I wanted?

Not to mention that a recent study shows that climbing 3 flights of stairs a day reduces your risk of stroke and death by 20% and I am climbing way more than that! So until the next time you can be sure that I'll be climbing, sometimes dragging myself, up 4 flights of stairs a day.